5 Tips for Managing Thanksgiving Stress: A Therapist’s Guide for Holiday Mental Health

Thanksgiving is often portrayed as a warm, joyful gathering - comfort food, family traditions, and time to reconnect. But for many women, BIPOC professionals, and therapists navigating burnout or compassion fatigue, the holiday can also bring a very real wave of stress.

Between family expectations, emotional labor, last-minute hosting demands, complicated dynamics, travel stress, cultural pressures, and the unspoken roles many of us carry within our family systems - Thanksgiving can feel less like a break and more like a performance.

If you’re already stretched thin by work, caregiving, or the general pace of life in the Greater Seattle area or throughout Washington State, Thanksgiving stress can hit even harder. Maybe you’re trying to keep the peace, avoid conflict, stay regulated during triggering conversations, or hold boundaries without guilt. Maybe you’re the one everyone relies on (emotionally or logistically) and it feels like you never get to rest.

If this resonates, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong. The holidays activate our nervous systems, old patterns, and deep-rooted expectations - especially in families where you’ve historically had to be “the strong one,” “the helper,” or “the peacemaker.”

The good news? You can protect your mental health, your energy, and your peace this Thanksgiving. Below are five therapist-approved tips to help you navigate holiday mental health challenges, reduce overwhelm, and cope with family during the holidays - while giving yourself the compassion you deserve.

Holiday gatherings often bring joy and complex family dynamics that can add pressure and emotional overwhelm.

Tip #1: Set Expectations Ahead of Time

Why deciding what you’re willing (and unwilling) to participate in is one of the most powerful tools for reducing Thanksgiving stress.

One of the biggest contributors to holiday anxiety is unclear or unrealistic expectations. Many of us fall into old roles or default patterns the moment we walk through the door of a family home. Before we know it, we’re cooking for everyone, mediating conversations, organizing logistics, or absorbing the emotional energy in the room.

When expectations aren’t set ahead of time, stress escalates quickly.

Before the holiday arrives, take time to ask yourself:

• What am I actually willing to do this year?

• What am I absolutely not available for?

• What would support me in feeling grounded and connected?

• What would make the day feel manageable rather than draining?

Then, communicate those boundaries early, clearly and kindly.

Examples sound like:

• “I can bring one dish, but I won’t be able to prep multiple items this year.”

• “I’ll be staying for two hours, then heading home to rest.”

• “I’m not discussing politics or personal life updates today.”

• “I need some quiet time after dinner, so I may step outside or take a short walk.”

Setting expectations isn’t about being difficult. It’s about being intentional with your energy, which is essential when you’re coping with family during the holidays or trying to protect your mental health around Thanksgiving.

And remember: A boundary is simply clarity, not conflict.

Tip #2: Have a Grounding Strategy Ready to Go

Your nervous system will thank you.

The holidays are overstimulating - no matter how loving your family may be. There’s sensory overload (noise, smells, constant movement), emotional intensity, and unpredictable conversations. Add in family history, cultural expectations, or intergenerational pressure, and it’s no surprise that many people (especially for BIPOC professionals and therapists) experience activation, anxiety, or emotional fatigue.

That’s why grounding strategies are essential.

Here are a few therapist-backed tools to help you regulate your nervous system throughout the day:

Breathing Techniques

Try a simple pattern like: Inhale for 4 — Hold for 2 — Exhale for 6.
This signals safety to your body and helps slow racing thoughts.

Step Outside for Fresh Air

A two-minute reset can change everything.
Nature, even briefly, helps regulate your senses and calm activation.

Use a Physical Grounding Prompt

• Press your feet into the floor

• Hold a warm mug

• Keep a grounding stone in your pocket

• Use temperature (cold water on your hands or wrists)

Sensory Check-In

Name:
1 thing you can taste
2 things you can smell
3 things you can hear
4 things you can touch
5 things you can see

These simple tools help bring you back into the present moment - especially helpful when navigating triggering conversations or overstimulation.

Therapists use these strategies every day, and they work just as well while coping with family during holidays.

Tip #3: Limit Over-Commitment

People-pleasing fuels burnout and the holidays magnify it. Many women and BIPOC professionals are conditioned to carry more than their share - emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Over-committing during the holidays fuels stress and burnout (especially for women and BIPOC professionals) carrying multiple roles.

During the holidays, this often shows up as:

• saying yes when you want to say no

• over-functioning to keep the peace

• taking responsibility for everyone’s comfort

• being the “go-to” helper or host

• downplaying your own needs

But over-commitment is a direct path to burnout. Here’s an important mindset shift:
You are allowed to do less.
You are not required to meet others’ expectations at the expense of your well-being.

A few ways to practice this:

• Choose one area where you intentionally give less this year.

• Delegate tasks—even if it feels uncomfortable.

• Say “I can’t do that this time, but thank you for thinking of me.”

• Allow yourself to prioritize what matters to you, not what is expected of you.

Every “no” creates space for rest, presence, and genuine connection.

Tip #4: Prepare for Emotional Triggers

Old patterns resurface fast and that doesn’t mean you’re regressing.

Even if you’ve grown, healed, or done significant therapy work, family systems can pull you back into old patterns within minutes.
Your body remembers.
Your nervous system remembers.
Your inner child remembers.

This is especially true for those who have experienced:

• parentification

• emotional neglect

• high cultural or familial expectations

• criticism or comparison

• being the “strong one”

• navigating racial microaggressions

• intergenerational trauma

• identity invalidation

Thanksgiving stress often triggers these emotional imprints.

Instead of being caught off-guard, prepare yourself with a plan:

Identify your top 1–2 triggers

Is it criticism? Pressure to share your personal life? Questions about career, relationships, or children? Conversations about politics or race? A specific family member’s tone or energy?

Create a coping strategy for each

Examples:

• If someone brings up a sensitive topic: “I’m not discussing that today, but thanks for asking.”

• If you feel emotionally flooded: step outside for air or take a quiet moment alone.

• If you feel judged or compared: place a hand on your chest and anchor yourself in your own truth.

Remind yourself of your current self—not your younger self

You are not obligated to shrink, over-explain, or appease old dynamics.

Preparing ahead allows you to stay grounded, reduce emotional overwhelm, and feel more empowered while coping with family during the holidays.

Tip #5: Prioritize Rest Before and After the Holiday

Recovery time is not optional, it’s essential.

Holiday mental health isn’t just about getting through the day. It’s also about how you prepare and how you recover.

Give yourself permission to intentionally plan for rest before Thanksgiving - especially if you know you’ll need extra emotional capacity. That might mean:

• a low-stimulation morning

• saying no to additional plans

• going to bed early

• blocking off downtime on your calendar

Then schedule rest after the holiday as well. Your nervous system needs time to come down from the intensity of travel, socializing, sensory overload, and emotional labor. Think of this as post-holiday decompression.

Stepping outside, even briefly, can help regulate your nervous system and bring you back to the present moment.

Rest might look like:

• taking a long walk or grounding in nature

• spending time alone to recalibrate

• journaling or reflecting

• limiting screen time or social commitments

• leaning into quiet, restorative routines

Rest isn’t laziness - it’s recovery, and it ensures the holiday doesn’t derail your mood, energy, or emotional well-being.

A Mindset Shift That Reduces Guilt, Pressure & Overwhelm

As you move into the holiday season, try holding this truth:

You are not responsible for everyone’s comfort, feelings, or expectations.

You are allowed to:

• rest

• take breaks

• set boundaries

• show up imperfectly

• opt out of conversations

• leave early

• protect your peace

Your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.

Thanksgiving can be meaningful without being overwhelming. You can enjoy connection without abandoning yourself. And you can create new patterns - even within long-standing family systems.

Need Support Navigating Thanksgiving Stress?

If the holidays tend to activate anxiety, people-pleasing, guilt, old family patterns, or emotional overwhelm, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

If you’re in Washington State - whether in the Greater Seattle area, the Eastside of King County, or anywhere across WA - therapy can help you:

• clarify boundaries

• prepare for triggering family dynamics

• regulate your nervous system

• build emotional resilience

• unpack cultural or intergenerational expectations

• experience the holiday with more ease and less pressure

You deserve a Thanksgiving that feels grounding, peaceful, and aligned with what you need.

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Preparing for the holidays and looking for an EMDR therapist in Kirkland or anywhere across Washington State?

If you’re hoping to enter this season feeling more grounded, centered, and confident in your boundaries, I’m here to support you. Together, we can help you navigate family dynamics with more ease so you can show up to yourself and your loved ones with the clarity, peace, and emotional resilience you deserve.

Schedule a consultation before the holidays to get the support you need this season.

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About the author
Angelica De Anda is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and EMDR Certified therapist based in Washington State. Offering virtual therapy and in-person EMDR extended and EMDR intensives for individuals ready to move through trauma, burnout, and stress with deeper, faster results. Her work is grounded in cultural humility, compassion, and a belief in each client’s capacity to heal.